explodingly:

“Oh, my God,” Dominique sarcasmed, raising her eyebrows. “I am so offended right now. Wow. Wow, McLaggen, you’ve cut me so deep, I just don’t know what I’m going to do anymore. I could die right here on the spot, and you’d be to blame. Wow. Just. Wow.” She shook her head, shrugging, as she rolled to sit on the edge of his bed. Effectively dodging a huge sneeze. She burst out in to a round of laughter, throwing her head back and covering her hand with her mouth.

“You’re pathetic,” she managed through giggles at his half-hearted attempt to get him to leave. She reached over to yank the tissues out of his nose. “I, as any other self-respecting woman, am trying to subvert the patriarchal paradigm, but honestly, you are the most pathetic creature right now. If I were not to help you, I would essentially be leaving a small animal to die.” She shook her head as she looked at him. Alright nurse Dominique. Jump in to action.”By the way, if you continue to lay here,” she dropped her voice down to a whisper, “you’re gonna loose muscle mass.” Obviously not that quickly. But his reaction was priceless.

“Okay, so, contrary to popular belief, sweating a fever is not a good idea.” She ripped his covers off, revealing his shirtless body, which she obviously took a moment to look at. Prepared to help? Yes. Mother Theresa? No. She grabbed his hand and yanked him forward off the pillows, rolling her eyes as he winced and coughed and gagged. “Man up, McLaggen. Or do I need to borrow some tampons from Molly?” She rearranged his pillows so he could sit propped up, and went to the bathroom to wet a towel. Upon her return, Dom draped it over his forehead and went fishing through her bag quick-smart. “Here,” she said. “Pepper-up potion. It’ll only be a temporary fix, and you’re not supposed to use it for colds, but it usually helps me.” Oh, she was such a god. Such. A. God.

“Sod off,” he repeated, glaring at her. Later McLaggen would smack himself for allowing himself to get so verbally beaten by Weasley and doing nothing to defend himself but he really couldn’t give a shit at the moment. He felt like dying. That’d be nice. Die out of this sick body and get reborn into the healthy athletic guy he usually was. How the bloody hell did he even get sick in the first place? Ugh, fuck biology and all its dynamics. “Oi!” he protested when she took the tissues out of his nose. Didn’t she know those kept him from leaking disgustingly? Oh Merlin. He covered his nose with his hand, his glare being replaced by a mix of panic and pout. She was obviously having way to much fun with this. But his eyes widened when she mentioned losing muscle mass, darting down to his stomach and back to her. “It won’t!” he persisted. “My abs will be as hard cut as they were two weeks ago!”

His face settled into a uncharacteristically grumpy expression as Weasley tugged the covers off. Anthony looked down at his chest, poking it to make sure it had the same firmness it usually did. “I’m not going to get flabby,” he insisted childishly. His mouth dropped in mortification at the word ‘tampon.’ How dare she! She was making fun of him! She really was getting a kick out of this wasn’t she?

“I find that highly offens - ” Anthony didn’t even finish his sentence when she smacked a cold wet towel on his forehead, seemingly out of nowhere. Oh, Merlin, that felt GOOD. He let out a contented groan and sunk back against the pillow, even though she’d made him prop up. She smacked his stomach, as if to scold him before handing the Pepper Up Potion. He grabbed it from her, looking at her with newfound appreciation.

“Oh Merlin, Weasley, you are a goddess -” he babbled as he attempted to open the bottle, struggling a bit since his hands were SO DAMN SWEATY.